Anchovy Oil Injection: Do Not Try This at Home!
About 16 years back, my wife, Joy, purchased a bottle of anchovy oil as a gift for me. The way to a fisherman's heart!
The next weekend, that same oil coated the sides of a herring that we drifted along the bottom off Jordan River. When I hooked and landed a halibut with that miniature oil slick, I recognized a winning combination.
During the next week, I dropped in at Island Outfitters to chat. I said to Joanne, "That anchovy oil you sold to Joy was the ticket. I got a good hali at J.R. because of that oil."
Joanne, recognizing a customer, said, "Besides halibut, why don't you put it in all your baits?"
I asked why she used the word "in".
She answered, "You should be putting anchovy oil inside any trolled bait. You need to purchase one of these squeeze bottles, and this injector needle too."
A good fisherman supporting a local business, I said, "Wrap it up."
Time passes. It's the next weekend. Our two sons like to fish, so I took them to Otter Point, but they also like to sleep. I said to John, the son who was still awake, "Just look at the action on that oiled bait. It ought to work just fine." John was impressed by the little oil slick.
At that moment, the wake from a passing boat hit ours, and I put my hand down to steady myself. Oops! I'd just pressed my hand onto the anchovy oil injector needle!
When a squeeze bottle is squashed and bent in half, and the injector is buried in your hand, you might say the bottle has done its job...squeezing.
Once I'd pulled out the injector apparatus, Ben woke up and saw blood on the floor. He said, "You didn't wake me even when you caught that fish."
I answered, a little loudly, "That's not fish blood, it's my blood."
I wanted to continue fishing (heroic, but then I'm the writer here), but the two spoilsports wanted me to meet with a doctor. They outvoted me. When we'd reached the marina, I called a Sooke clinic and described my anchovy injection problem. The receptionist left the impression she was going to call the Sooke RCMP Detachment to report a very weird new drug fad.
At the clinic, the waiting room was crowded, but the mothers there had all gathered their children to their sides as we entered. There was some whispering. They had left us three chairs farthest from their kids. The doctor who attended me was cautious at first, but was open-minded enough to accept my explanation (thousands wouldn't) for injecting anchovy oil into my hand.
Later that day, I was telling this story, the abridged version, to a friend in the aisle of a Sooke drug store. As I stepped up to a pharmacist who had been one of my favourite students two decades before, she put her tongue firmly in her cheek and said, "Sorry, we don't fill prescriptions for intravenous drug users." Then she started giggling at the dumb set of circumstances that brought me there.
To sum up, I do recommend anchovy oil, but only on or in a fishing bait.
And since you probably wonder about my recovery, I am typing with both hands at this moment, thank you for your concern. There were no lasting bad effects, except that for a few months, people would ask, "Have you just been eating a caesar salad?"